Sunday, December 4, 2011

Trial run

I hardly slept that night and was out the door by 8am the next morning. I just wanted to get away from him as soon and as quickly as possible.

Mom was already awake when I got home and we sat sipping tea on the couches in the family room. I calmly told her that The Ex and I were over. I explained how we were gong to handle things and told her that I was okay. She came over and hugged me and said that we would get through this. All that mattered to her was that I was okay with this. She then surprised me by telling me that although she really liked The Ex she really did not like his family. She was appalled at their behaviour at some of the wedding  functions and she was glad that I wouldn't have to deal with them as in-laws. It was reassuring to know that my parents were on my side, well for the moment anyway. I hadn't yet told them the whole story.

I was ready to tell my parents what had happened but I wasn't quite ready to tell my sister so I had made plans to visit BFF2. She knew that things between The Ex and I had been rocky but she knew nothing about the affair or the other details behind why things went to pot. I had decided that she would be my trial run for telling the whole truth. I thanked my mom for tea and for listening to me. We hugged and then I left to go and visit BFF2.

BFF2 was home with her two little girls, although her 7 month old was taking a nap at the time. She gave me a hug when I came in and we sat down in her family room to talk. I didn't waste any time and just poured my heart out and told her everything. Half way through I started crying and her little girl just watched me. She was 3 and couldn't quite figure out what to make of me! BFF2 listened to everything I had to share and at the end all she said to me was, "It's okay. If you weren't happy, you weren't, and it's better to get out now rather than later." I smiled at her and nodded. I felt so relieved. I'd actually done it. I had told the whole truth. I'd admitted my faults. I'd taken on the blame. I'd owned my affair and BFF2 still loved me.

It was with that knowledge that I was able to take on telling the rest of the world that The Ex and I were over.

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